An Interview With Wesley Winnebago, One of “Those” Employees

What is your job title? I am the Director of Fiscal Irresponsibility, Nonfinancial Planning and Guesstimations.

How long have you been with the company?  I have been here 45 years, 10 months, 3 weeks, 5 days, 6 hours and 25 seconds.

 Tell us a little about yourselfI have been married 21 times, engaged 3 times and am now single and living with my mom in her Cadillac underneath a bridge. I went to college on a javelin catching scholarship (I can catch 8 out of 10 javelins thrown at me), graduated Suma Cum Laude from Hail Mary University with a degree in motivational speaking and went straight into the banking industry as a Maintenance Engineer. I am a world class sprinter (I once outran Mercury Morris in the 40 yard dash), hold the world record in speed macramé knitting and am currently working on my Anthropolgy Sociology degree. I love to cook and my specialty is sweet bread smothered in butter and Sriracha sauce. I invented the pet rock but sold the idea to a friend for a case of Budweiser. I have been there, done that, bought and sold the t-shirt.

 What are some of the things that you are doing to improve a customer’s experience with our company? I try to keep the parking lot clean, yellow lines painted and employee cars lined up in order by shape and color, however I am also color blind so that tends to give me trouble sometimes. Still, I do my best to make sure everyone stays happy.

What is the single biggest challenge you face in doing your job? Trying to stay focused, I was hit in the head a couple of time in college during javelin catching practice and I tend to drift off every once in awhile and forget what I was talking about. I tend to drift off every once in awhile and forget what I was talking about…what were we talking about?

What are some of your personality traits that contribute to your on-the-job success? I am lazy, ambitious, love to gossip, a great listener,  like to roam throughout the building, try to bug everyone I can as much as possible and love to pester my peers with never-ending, pointless questions. However, I do show up to work on time, every day and I never take time off. I love my job and this company.

 Tell us one thing about yourself that would surprise us. I am a figment of Ken’s imagination. The only reason my story is here is because he wants to make a point about “that employee.” I am not sure what his point is or who “that employee” is or even what he means by that.

Ok, so Wesley is not a real person, but I hope you get my point. We all have “that employee” in the workplace. He/she is the one that always has the off the wall question about the subject you just spent 22 minutes discussing, is the first one to arrive and last one to leave the party, makes sure he/she speaks (annoys) to everyone, always does just enough to get by and never enough wrong things to get fired, is an expert on everything and always has an opinion to share but is always at work on time.

Who is “that employee?” He/she is the employee that you love to hate, but you can also always count on them being at work and on time, regardless of the weather. He/she is the one that annoys the crap out of you, but is always available to lend you a hand when everyone else is running out the door. “That employee” is the one that keeps the business running. They may be a Mr. PIB (Pain intha butt) but they are your Mr. PIB and I daresay you can’t get along without them. So what do you do?

Work with them, teach them, reward them, keep smiling and remember – you’re the manager. It’s your job to turn all their idiosyncrasies into positive attributes so they can be a productive employee. So, get to work.



Dr. Jekyl or Mr. Hyde, Which Boss Showed Up For Work Today?

It’s 7:55 on Monday morning. You’re sitting at your desk, a strong cup of coffee in your hand, computer powered up.

7:56. Double-check and make sure everything is arranged just perfectly on your desk, nothing out of place. Dump the remains of breakfast in the trash, check the employees and make sure that everyone has dumped the trash off their desk. Make sure they are clocked in, logged on and ready for the first call as well as working on projects. Shut down any socializing by the staff.

7:58. Check the coffee pot, make sure his special blend is ready and hot.

7:59. Last minute check of his office, lights on, Out box empty, everything organized, nothing out of place.

8:00. You hear the back door open, you feel steps coming down the hallway, is he smiling, is he greeting the staff as he walks by their cubicle, does he appear to be kicking an imaginary dog down the hall as he walks, is he mumbling to himself and throwing daggers from his eyes at the staff, did he stop in his office and throw his briefcase down?

He’s in the kitchen, you can hear him pouring his cup of coffee.

Now he’s walking to your office, the moment of truth is here – Who showed up today, Dr. Jekyl or Mr. Hyde? What will be the first words out of his mouth? Will it be “Good Morning” or “I have something for you” (which means grab a pad and come to my office, I want to tell you about all the inefficiencies/staff violations I have seen this morning so far).

The next few moments set the tone for the day, or at least for the next few hours. Will you be able to get some real work done today (even though you have already been here for 2 hours trying to accomplish a few things before he showed up) or will you be running around putting out fires all day? Is it another day of mistrust, anxiety and fear or is there finally some relief and a chance to breathe?

You sit there thinking, it all starts at the top, it’s out of your control. Or, is it?

I have had the opportunity to be part of the management  team (and I use that term loosely in some cases) and work for several large corporations in various venues throughout my career. This has provided me with real word experiences in watching how upper management deals with employees – both good and bad. This book will take a look at those “bad bosses” and hopefully show you, in a humorous way, how to lower an employee’s self-esteem, destroy their confidence and make them feel lower than dirt! Or, you could always do just the opposite and be the boss the staff wants you to be! 

And, in case you were wondering, Yes, all of these things did occur at some point in my career and no, I am not making any of this up. The truth is always stranger than fiction. If you see yourself in one of these illustrations, do us all a favor – CHANGE or GET OUT OF MANAGEMENT!

(Stay tuned for the e-book, scheduled for release in the summer of 2017)